Energy!!!! We don't need science to tell us, although it's been confirmed, that energy is given and received between people. This is why we can be with an individual or group of people and can sense when the vibe is off, when we are not feeling embraced and when there's a disconnect between ourselves and others. This is not (always) something in your mind but in many cases, because energy is transferred between people, your feelings are usually spot-on. Don't ignore that inner voice telling you 'I'm getting some shade in this situation' or that feeling that comes over you when you're in a space that's unwelcoming to you. In those cases, if and when you are able, remove yourself from those situations, those individuals that bring about those feelings.You have every right to protect your space and your energy, setting boundaries on who is allowed in and who you need to keep a distance from.
I have been in many situations where I've denied myself the opportunity to remove myself from people and situations that were giving off negative energy, lack of appreciation for the layers of who I am and what I stand for. Allowing this negative energy in my emotional space, led me to derailing many of my projects and oftentimes left me with 'doing (self) work' that wasn't mine to own. In several situations, I'd force myself into silence aligning myself with the vibe of a person or group, dimming my light to accommodate others.It took me a very long time through self work and continuous healing, to recognize the difference between isolating or diminishing myself as opposed to keeping a distance from those who really didn't care for me and yes, at times, for no other reason-just because it's me. I also learned that by 'shrinking' myself or by attaching myself to any particular negative behavior, I was in turn teaching others how to treat me and as a result I received exactly what I taught.
Putting aside science for a moment, the stronger I have become in my spiritual shell-my temple, the more I am able to recognize immediately when I am in a space that does not welcome me. My ability to do continuous self checks and to really know who I am has allowed me to enter a space and immediately know when the energy is one that is negative or disingenuous. At times I would go into defense mode and try to figure it out and even try to have conversations with individuals and groups to somehow 'get to the bottom' of what's taken place or try to 'fix' an offense I may have committed, not brought to my attention. But as I've become wiser on my journey, what I've learned is that sometimes that negative energy has more to do with the other person than it has to do with me. Sometimes who you are, especially if you are filled with radiant energy and love, maybe you have a special connection with people, maybe your personality is bigger than life, maybe you're always positive in chasing your dreams -those qualities can sometimes bring out in others, things that are unwelcoming within them, and in turn, their behaviors, subtle or outward-their energy is less than life giving, positive and loving towards you.
My truth, is that for a long time, I allowed the negative energy in spaces I knew I did not belong in, because of my own feelings of inadequacy and the need for approval. It cost me time, energy, resources and a lot of pain! I had a lot to unpack in therapy and through self growth and understanding the how and why of my makeup, my triggers and the pathology that got me there, I was able to identify what emotionally impacts me and why. I had to learn to protect my energy because of the way in which I am made up-in all of my strength and vulnerability, I can only surround myself in that which is in the fabric of my core being...love! I learned that acceptance did not have to be part of that equation, meaning, because I was able to love someone, I did not have to accept their lack of properly living the action part of "love" toward me; understanding that everyone I love and/or honor may not have the capacity to love and appreciate me. I had to begin to use the tools I learned to recognize when adjustments in areas of my life had to be made, inclusive of those individuals connected to those areas. I also came to the realization, that while I am imperfect, as we all are, it is dishonoring to my own being, to shrink myself or try to "fix" that "thing" that was never mine to own. The freedom was being open to putting closure on those spaces that I allowed to lead me into a path of not fully embracing the beauty of who I am; knowing that by appropriately ending those seasons (whether the person is part of that process or not) it would open doors and areas of my life to attract the people that can embrace the authentic "me." I now embrace those closures, understanding that for the season I am in, it still serves a purpose....more self knowledge....more self growth!
Listen to your energy and understand that those who appear to dishonor you, may not even be aware of it. Be able to own what is yours to change and when the ownness is not on you. At the same time, while we should be on a continuous journey of growth, we should never dim that which radiates those beautiful parts that make us unique, simply because it's difficult for others to be around us or difficult for them to recognize what's taking place in their 'within'. The reality is- if we are not doing 'the work' (self work!) and we recognize the positive light that shines from those who are, it can create a feeling of inadequacy which in turn translates into negative behaviors/energy towards those who are deemed to be 'winning' at this life.... when we can all 'win' by taking strides to better ourselves, looking to others as inspiration as opposed to competition.
Trust yourself in situations that bring you to spaces unwelcoming of your radiance and never shrink or diminish those beautiful layers of who you are. Protect that sacred space within you-your heart and spirit. Eliminate the need to constantly defend who you are because your consistent actions will show others (known and unknown to you), who you truly are. Healing is EVERYTHING and know that it is a continuous journey that will begin to do a lot of the "work" for you-if you are doing it right!
Give yourself the freedom of living authentically by setting boundaries and creating spaces that are life-giving as opposed to life taking. While you're at it, keep ((authentically)) doing your own work so that you can recognize areas that you need to own, areas you need to grow and healing that you must embrace and continue on this life journey. #BeyondThisMoment